In was asked by the owner of the September Woman website to write a blog about how I came to take riding lessons in my 50's. I didn't have a clue about blogging but just wrote this piece from the heart. I hope it inspires others to enjoy their lives and take every opportunity than life presents to themBlog for September Woman. Website to inspire women in their autumn years.

Can you feel as though your life is over at 36?  Hardly the September years, but for me this was when the bubble burst, and it felt like my life was over.  The husband I adored, and whom  I had  shared my life with since I was 15, decided after almost 20 years of marriage, that he wanted to leave me and our two daughters for someone he had met at a works Christmas party.  Looking back the signs were there, but I was blind to it, because love is blind, and now it seemed as if my whole life to this point had been some kind of deluded lie. "Together forever" he had said only a month before when we had one of our first few weekends away without the girls.  I just wanted to curl up in bed and make the whole thing go away. I wanted my life back, my family to be together again, but it had gone, forever.  I had to accept that, just like losing my mother to cancer the year before, that this part of my life was never coming back.

So the rebuilding process began.  Slowly, at first, but it started to make me realise that,  for once in my life I could be my own person.  Initially I thought that I wanted to meet someone else, but after unsuitable dates and very brief relationships I realised I was only trying to replace what I had. That wasn't going to happen. That part of my life was gone and I needed to build a new one. It wasn't a conscious decision to do this, but more of a slow and growing realisation that there were things I wanted to do and I didn't need to seek the approval of anyone else to follow my dreams.

I worked hard to gain promotion in work. I needed financial security and had previously completed my CIPD qualifications to the response of "you're only a bloody receptionist why  are you bothering". Those words were ringing in my ears when I got my first HR Advisor job and it felt good knowing that I done it in spite of him not because of him. I was finally becoming me. It was a financial struggle at first  with two daughters still in education and living at home, but it was the first step to financial independence.  I was never going to rely on a man to provide me with a lifestyle. I could do anything that I wanted to.  I had loyalty and companionship from my dogs and I didn't need anything else apart from my two lovely daughters but they had their own lives to live.

Leisure time was spent with friends travelling to places  I had always dreamed of going to. New York, Hong Kong, Canada, California and the Caribbean as well as the usual European destinations. I was fortunate to have wonderful friends who enjoyed the same things as I did.  I started doing the things that I always wanted to do. I took up golf lessons, joined the gym, started going to football matches, joined a rambling club.  I visited the most beautiful places during walks and met wonderful people.  I managed to arrange for a friend of a friend take take me around the Isle of Man TT course on the back of his motorbike and went paragliding when on another holiday.  This isn't such a big deal for some but I am afraid of heights.  I discovered an inner determination to overcome my fears.  I have also managed to be persuaded to go up with my friends husband in his micro light aircraft. Some think I'm brave, others think I'm insane,  but really it's about enjoying the moment.

Over the years I continued to work hard, completed my Masters in
Strategic HR Management, and my career progressed to senior HR Roles.  I thought that maybe I might want another relationship  but Mr Right was very elusive. I didn't really believe he existed. Also my tolerance of anyone who wanted to be part of my life, or even worse control it, was zero.

However, one day, out with friends at the local pub I met the man who was to be my  partner, best friend and my soul mate. I married my husband after a five year relationship (We didn't want to rush things) 12 years after my first marriage had ended.

I still dreamed of one day being able to ride a horse again. Something I had tried as a child but not had the chance to take it up properly.  I  needed to gain that confidence just to take some lessons, but I thought I was too old.  None of my existing group of friends was into horses so the subject never cropped up. I was working as an interim and got talking about riding to a colleague. She was more than 20 years younger than me but we got on really well, with a common interest. We have since become great friends.  She suggested that we went riding together and pestered me until I booked the lessons. With fantastic instruction, from Sue at Parbold Equestrian, I took up riding again at the age of 52. I still felt that apprehension when I first got on and also had to have a short break due to a fall and an unrelated illness, but I am still having lessons more than a year later and love it.  I knew I had progressed when I stopped feeling apprehensive and couldn't wait for my next lesson.   I have now done a couple of basic dressage tests, which is real progress for me. Although, I know and accept that I am a slow learner, for me it's about doing something you enjoy and progressing at your own pace,  even if it is only small steps (pardon the pun).  That feeling of achievement, of a horse understanding what you want it to do just by touch and mutual trust can't be explained. I love their beautiful faces and that smell that only a horse lover can appreciate.  The best stress reliever you can get. It empties the head of all of the days worries.

I am now happily married to Tony with fabulous daughters and three beautiful Grandaughters.  Truly a galloping Granny wanting to take up every new challenge.
September years? Bring them on. Autumn is a fabulous time of year. Beautiful colours and nature shedding the old to prepare for the new.  I've still got lots of new things to try. I definitely want to keep riding as you can only keep improving and it satisfies my desire of always wanting to learn something new. My husband and I also bought a Tandem Bike last summer. Watch this space ............

My motto is to take every opportunity that comes your way.  Age doesn't matter, it's all relative, you are only as young as you allow yourself to be.  Stealing a motto from A little Horse Sense (Artist) "Turn your cant's into cans and your dreams into plans".


Audrey Cushion
Freshfield Liverpool
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